Music While You Labour

Written by Pete Atkin and Barry Brown for the Revue 'Under Plain Cover'
(sung to the themes of several popular wireless ditties)

When you use your radio set
This is what you tend to get
On a normal day
Excepting when a play intervenes inbetween

And if you think we like it you're utterly wrong
This is only temporary and soon we'll move on
Let me tell you our ambition
Greater things will be our aim
We won't always be doing the same

We want to play Bartok and all the fast parts of
The Tchaikovsky Pathétique
If we had our way then you
Could stuff the Blue Danube
Up the proverbial creek

But at the moment
Our position
Is one of
Cultural stagnation
With the Charlie Harris Novelty Five

The Warsaw 
Arranged for
Trombones and oboe
Lacks that indefinable drive

So when news time comes around 
We practise Bach
It gives our daily round 
A little extra spark
And while The Archers are on after tea
There's time for half of a Brahms symphony
And a Mozart sonata
Taken appassionata
Or perhaps a little faster
Leaves a few minutes free

But then we're off again
Rachmaninoff again
Just has to wait while we play
Ivor Novello tunes
Songs of South Sea lagoons
Waltzes and Anchors Aweigh

We churn out rubbish all day long
Sickly grin, sing along
Bye bye culture

We have higher things in mind
Scho-enberg, twelve-tone lines
Bye bye culture

So we keep up our pretence
We wear a grin 'cause what's the sense
In grumbling if we can still play 
Beethoven Haydn Schubert Schumann

Thus our yoke we kindly bear 
'cause soon as we are off the air
's the only chance we have to play 
A bit of uncompromising jazz

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