You Don't Need Me

You've got the Marquis de Sade, you don't need me
You like a shot of Sheherazade and you don't need me
Why with all those books
Why should you need looks
Or folks like me

     I can smell you coming when you step inside the door
     It's that kind of learned musty smell of leather books on law
     You puff a pipe and gabble tripe and glide across the floor
     It seems that you don't need me

Wittgenstein's got nothing on you and one helluva lot on me
Plato would have cried if he knew your philosophy
Relativity's been superseded
By your latest theory
And you don't need me

Michelangelo was merely incompetent next to you
I thought King Lear was a romp, it ain't nothing to you
There ain't nothin' anybody can tell you
About the sex life of a bumblebee
And you don't need me

     They ask you for books the university library hasn't got
     You've got seven sets of Goethe and what's more you've read the lot
     And with all that Freud and Einstein and God knows only what
     It seems that you don't need me
     You tell me that you don't need me

You alone speak Gallic and you don't need me
To you everything's phallic excepting me
Somehow you think you're the cultural centre
Of this whole modern century
And you don't need me
How come you don't need me
You don't give a damn about me

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