Practical Man

(In Ab on the record -- capo 1 and play in G:)

G                         B7        E7
Last night I drank with a practical man

A                      C            G
Who seemed to think he knew me well

He had no debts and he had no troubles

C                      Eb         D7
All night long he kept setting up doubles

B7               A7                   C      G
And he asked me 'What have you got to sell?'

                              B7        E7
'I'll see you right' said the practical man

A                         C           G
'A boy like you should be living high

All you do is get up and be funny

    C                         Eb      D7
And I'll turn the laughs into folding money

B7              A7                  C     G
Can you name me anything that can't buy?'

                                 B7        E7
'So you deal in dreams' said the practical man

A                             C          G
'So does that mean you should be so coy?

I fixed one chap a show on tele'

    C                     Eb          D7      B7
Who limped like Byron and talked like Shelley

                   A7                  C     G
Through a ten-part epic on the fall of Troy'

                              B7        E7
'I'll tell you what' said the practical man

      A                     C          G
As he tapped the ash from a purple fag

'Let's head uptown for a meal somewhere

        C                             Eb      D7    B7
You can sing me something while we're driving there

                     A7                 C    G
There's a grand piano in the back of my Jag'

                         B7        E7
So I sang my song to the practical man

   A               C                 G
It sounded bad but she couldn't hear

                         B7                  C
And the silent lights of town went streaming

                    Eb      D7       B7
As if the car was a turtle, dreaming

                      A7              C    G
The night was sad and she was nowhere near

                             B7        E7
'It's a great idea' said the practical man

        A                     C              G
As they brought in waiters on flaming swords

'You love this chick and it's really magic

        C               Eb              D7
But she won't play ball -- that's kinda tragic

    B7                 A7             C        G
Now how do we get this concept on the boards?'

                              B7        E7
'I see it like this' said the practical man

      A                      C               G
As he chose a trout from the restaurant pool

                       B7                  C
'We change it round so she's going frantic

                       Eb     D7     B7
To win the love of the last romantic

                        A7            C     G
And you're the one, her wild creative fool'

                                B7        E7
So I thought it all over as the practical man

A                          C           G
Watched them slaughter the fatted calf

I saw again her regretful smile

C                          Eb      D7   B7
Sweet to look at though it meant denial

                A7                C      G
It was bound to hurt but I had to laugh

                           B7        E7
And that's when I told the practical man

      A                        C          G
As he drank champagne from the Holy Grail

There are some ideas you can't play round with

E7                      A7                      C
Can't let go of and you can't give ground with

                            Eb          D7         B7
'Cause when you die they're what you're found with

                    A7                     C     G
There are just some songs that are not for sale

(Thanks to Gerry Smith for the chord transcription)
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