Gentle parody by Tom Holt of the Atkin/James song 'The Rider To The World's End'.
You were sure it was all right to leave the car there, And no-one would mind if we parked on yellow lines - So I am the driver to the West End With the matching set of wheelclamps and the ticket on the windscreen And the sheaf of fines. And you'll know me By the sign of the driver to the West End; Which is not the shattered ribcage Or the broken arm in plaster and a sling; Just some deeply-scored abrasions in the paintwork And some scratches in the wing. You were sure you knew a short-cut round the hold-ups That would save us an hour; you knew it in your bones - So I am the driver to the West End, Past the big sign marked DIVERSION and the roads closed 'cos of bomb-scares And the rows of cones. And you'll know me By the sign of the driver to the West End; Which is not the famished visage Or the lips devoid of water, cracked and parched; Just a feeling of confusion after going Seven times round Marble Arch. You were sure the traffic jams would soon be over And roadworks in Holborn were nothing to be feared; So I am the driver to the West End With the overheating engine and the crumpled, sweaty clothing And the growth of beard.
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