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Pete Atkin >> Words >> Flowers and the Wine
(Message started by: Ian Chippett on Today at 14:27)

Title: Flowers and the Wine
Post by Ian Chippett on Today at 14:27
I just realised that there's a slight blemish in the lyric of this song. In the first verse, Clive rhymes "night" and "light" when the rhyme should be with "him". I can't think of other similar mistakes in Clive's output except in "Faded Mansion" (subsequently corrected). Bit difficult to find a good rhyme with "him", though. "Jim?" Perhaps we could have a competition to find the best solution?

Ian C

Title: Re: Flowers and the Wine
Post by Mike Walters on 26.04.05 at 12:45
Must admit I'd never spotted this before.  Giving CJ the benefit of the doubt, it seems a little odd that he should have allowed this to slip through accidently, given how scrupulous he generally is...it's not as if this is one of his more challenging rhyme schemes (though I agree it's not easy to rhyme with 'him' ....'I've been out on a limb', 'The ending's pretty grim' - maybe not - but he could have amended the first line instead).  I wonder if it's too far fetched to ask whether the disruption of the rhyme scheme is intended to evoke a sense of something not quite fitting in?  (Though I acknowledge that this would be pretty subtle, given that I hadn't noticed it in 30+ years of listening to the song...)

Incidentally, at the risk of raising a controversial name in these parts, the late Warren Zevon was a master at using the name 'Jim' to complete a rhyme - notably in 'Werewolves of London' ('Stay away from him/ He'll rip your lungs out, Jim')  but also in 'Piano Fighter' and elsewhere.  This may, of course, simply confirm some prejudices...

Title: Re: Flowers and the Wine
Post by Robert Reid on 26.04.05 at 22:35
Thanks for pointing this out. It strikes me that Clive has done this diliberately and it's very subtle. The lyric is so well put together it just ran over our heads.
The "him" of the song is obviously hated by the narrator who is eaten up with jealousy. "Farewell a friend" not "my friends".
The lack of a rhyme here introduces the discomfort that the visitor has in facing the fact that the object of his infatuation is with another man "him".  It's more obvious when you read the lyric itself instead of listening to the song.
We know what the song is about, but now that you've pointed this out I see the visitor or narrator as slightly more threatening.

Robert

Title: Re: Flowers and the Wine
Post by Keith Busby on 27.04.05 at 19:21
I think the reason this has gone unnoticed is that "accented" rhyme, as it were, is that of lines 2 and 4. As for "farewell a friend," I've always read that as from the couple's point of view.

Keith



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