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Ian Chippett
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Posts: 330
My Egoist
« : 21.03.09 at 15:19 »
Quote

Here's the inspiration (in your actual French) of one of my PA-CJ favourites. There seems to be a rhyming cock-up in verse three "doses" and "agonie" unless I've missed something. However, it seems that in French you can get away with rhyming "profane" with "fane" which is not on in English (cf the revised version of FMOTH.)
 
Ian C
 
Nous vînmes au jardin fleuri pour la cueillette.
Belle, sais-tu combien de fleurs, de roses-thé,
Roses pâles d'amour qui couronnent ta tête,
S'effeuillent chaque été ?
 
Leurs tiges vont plier au grand vent qui s'élève.
Des pétales de rose ont chu dans le chemin.
Ô Belle, cueille-les, puisque nos fleurs de rêve
Se faneront demain !
 
Mets-les dans une coupe et toutes portes doses,
Alanguis et cruels, songeant aux jours défunts,
Nous verrons l'agonie
Aux râles de parfums.
 
Le grand jardin est défleuri, mon égoïste,
Les papillons de jour vers d'autres fleurs ont fui,
Et seuls dorénavant viendront au jardin triste
Les papillons de nuit.
 
Et les fleurs vont mourir dans la chambre profane.
Nos roses tour à tour effeuillent leur douleur.
Belle, sanglote un peu... Chaque fleur qui se fane,
C'est un amour qui meurt !
 
Guillaume Apollinaire, Il y a  
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S J Birkill
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Posts: 598
Re: My Egoist
« Reply #1: 21.03.09 at 18:34 »
Quote

Well spotted, Ian!
 
Stanza 4 is almost My Egoist's Verse 4 verbatim
- clever bloke, that Apollinaire, anticipating CJ like that.
 
Stanza 3, line 3 should read
<< Nous verrons l'agonie amoureuse des roses >>
which fixes the rhyme, and the metre, I think.
 
SJB
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Keith Busby
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Posts: 160
Re: My Egoist
« Reply #2: 21.03.09 at 23:30 »
Quote

Already spotted by Mel Powell, I think, Ian (http://www.peteatkin.com/vocal01.htm). Steve's correction is correct. It looks to me like Apollinaire is rewriting Ronsard here: "Mignonne, allons voir si la rose" and "Quand vous serez bien vieille", entre autres. The latter was, of course, reworked by Yeats in "When you are old and grey".
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Commit THAT to Your Fragrant Memory!
S J Birkill
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just a sensible reserve

   

Posts: 598
Re: My Egoist
« Reply #3: 21.03.09 at 23:41 »
Quote

Sorry, Mel -- it's my lousy memory.
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